Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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