Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
