shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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