You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
