the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
