I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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