david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
