i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize