I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
