Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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