For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
