someone get that fucking seahorse.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
