i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So much rum. So many feels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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