her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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