ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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