I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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