This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
