Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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