he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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