i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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