So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
God, I missed his penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize