So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
