dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
