oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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