He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
