i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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