hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
