She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
