Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize