I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
