I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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