I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
