we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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