So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
