there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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