I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
