its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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