Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
