Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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