Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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