i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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