It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize