He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
