i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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