were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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