Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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