im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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