She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
