kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
