So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
