tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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