She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I need a burrito and a hug.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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