Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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