Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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