that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
