i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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