I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
