if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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