I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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