We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
