How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
