I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
