Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
