You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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