I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
