i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize