shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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