Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
