That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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